The First Time I Wore Hijab
What were the initial thoughts?
I used to question myself, why should I cover my hair? What purpose does it serve? Why my 5 times daily prayers and other acts of worship aren’t enough?
The ability to ask question is a gift and blessing from Allah swt. In our culture, subconscious or conscious we are not encouraged to ask question and especially when it comes to religion. Often, we get bombarded with multiple Astagfirullahs when a nonlinear question is being asked. The other times, we don’t prioritize to juggle ourselves to seek for an answer. When we could listen and then say wisely a lot of problems will be solved. No doubt, every culture has itself own pros and cons but as a Muslim we should always seek hard to gain knowledge.
Embrace the little things
At this time, I used to talk to Allah swt very often. Apart from 5 times a day, I used to communicate with him on almost everything. For example, If I was craving for a lassi, I used to ask Allah swt in our heart Ya Allah I want to have a lassi. Though, I could’ve just skipped this part and go out and buy a lassi. Simple. But not really. The same day my Ami bought a lassi for me. The faith that strengthens these tiny, yet super strong moments are just like miracle to me. Likewise, when the first time such thing happened then I started asking more and more questions. Started requested Allah swt and basically communicate with Him like he’s my bestie. Even the language I use was super normal, crazy and heart to heart. In my opinion, a strong faith is when you communicate to Allah swt and He makes your dull day into a beautiful one.
It takes time. When we ask questions, we want immediate replies as of course this is what the new world is about; speed, getting everything done quickly.
Then I did my research, lived a Muslim life, stayed away from things which were disliked by Allah swt and genuinely asked Allah swt to answer my questions. In some time, naturally answers start combining in mind. The conclusion was that Hijab is not just a piece of cloth, it’s love and obedience towards Allah swt.
I obey Allah swt but I don’t love Him
It’s true to find love for Allah swt is hard, living in our society. Where since childhood we have been taught, if you don’t pray Allah swt will be angry at you.
How it all started?
I made a pact to myself that after 6 months I’ll start wearing a hijab.
Right at the end of 6 months I learned to make fish braids and holy I was like if I were hijab what will I do? I want to flaunt my fish braids but in hijab. All such thoughts used to come and haunt me. And THAT IS OKAY! Such thoughts will come back and forth so that is super normal!
The First Time I Wore Hijab
I took my Ami’s black scarf from the two abayas she had. Then I went to the lounge, standing in front of the mirror with the black scarf in my hand. As soon as I put it on my head, the chills rushing in me were quite real. My faith was at the highest point. I didn’t care how my first day of 7th grade would be. I didn’t care what my old friends would think when they see the change in me. This was the first time I wore a hijab. The entire day at school I didn’t care anything but was super happy that I took this big decision in pursuit of getting close to Allah SWT and Alhamdulillah it has been 10 years now.
Hijab has changed me in ways I had no idea it would. I never thought my vision of life would change by just wearing a piece of clothing, clearing Hijab is more than that.
May Allah SWT give me and everyone strength to continue wearing it, understanding the importance of Hijab and building stronger relationship with Allah SWT.